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Thank you for saving my faith in men. I was convinced all men are gay bi or closeted. I stumbled upon this article. Im My fiancee is He tells me desire to have sex is not there.
He stores pictures of other women. I like sex for sport but I am submissive. So i stumbled upon article. Only imagine what dark alleys Ive been down on the net. Dont know what to do. Very interesting DR. And I will read more! I actually found a bit of what I was wondering. It is a question of submission I believe, the biggest submission a male can give to his superior wife is staying loyal to her whilst allowing her to go out and fuck men.
There is something about it that really turns me on, I hate it. I wish I could be a normal dominant male and enjoy giving women a good fucking but what you say about being 'wired differently' is true.
I believe this is a very good topic to discus because it is true how the desires of people are getting stranger and more unrealistic. Thank you for this article. It focuses on several topics that occupy much of my conscious day and have done so for many years. The strangest thing happened to me ten or so years ago. I was prescribed Adderall for ADD at the age of 33, and from the first time I took the medicine which was prescribed at 30mg 3 times daily, a large dose, I began to fantasize about my wife having sex with two men in front of me, as I watched helpless to do anything because of their dominance.
I had fantasizes about women in my life having sex with other men before, but not with myself interjected in the fantasy observing. This fantasy turned me on to such a degree that I masturbated constantly, all night as long as I didn't run out of amphetamine, and other fantasies came into my mind, of me wearing slutty lingerie and being submissive towards older men, black men, African militants, fat old white perverted men, old high school janitors, and so on. I began to "borrow" panties from my wife, without her knowledge, and even stole a couple pairs from my friend's wife, straight from their dirty clothes hamper.
I began to see myself as a slut, a feminine slut, for these older, unique, and generally unattractive male characters. As a side effect of the medication my penis would shrink and harden which made me all the more excited as it would be less than an inch long and so narrow it looked like a clitoris in a way. I began to shape my body in the gym with cardio and only toning and no bulk muscle building weight training and enhanced my already round butt and curvaceous waist until I began to turn myself on too much.
I found Craigslist for the first time after my kink above had taken shape, and I stared at the cocks and read the top's posts with stunned fascination. I also discovered through porn sites that my fantasy about my wife had a category all it's own called cuckold porn. I discovered I was a submissive bottom and either a crossdresser or a fem. I had always had gay feelings, and submissive feelings since puberty, the year after I became interested in girls, but this was something different, a role defined. Shortly after discovering the gay personals online I forgot to turn the computer off and my wife sat down to her laptop only to see a picture of a giant white cock and gay ad.
There was nothing I could do but feign innocence, and that did seem to work, until a month or so later when my wife found several legal pads I had filled with written short stories about the two of us being molested by well endowed black men, each of us done anally, submissive fantasy scenes of us acting as servants and slaves. We were headed for divorce anyway, and this hastened the process. She also called my mother and told her the story, which I shrugged off with an excuse that my wife was lying to be vindictive, which at least put an end to any further discussion.
Jump ahead a few years and I am married to a new wife. In the in between I have had my first gay sexual experiences, trying to recreate my fantasy, dressed in slutty lingerie, inviting gay tops to hotel rooms from Craigslist, but generally disappointed with most tops, and learning that "top" and "dominant" are not the same descriptors.
However I had enough good moments I was a confirmed cross dressing fem sub. Why did I get involved with another woman? I still have an attraction towards being a dominant top with attractive women and with females my penis would grow hard and to its normal size even with Adderall. But getting involved at that time was more a factor of not seeing the whole picture clearly, the difficulties my sexuality would present again in this new marriage.
I had told my new wife about my interest in wearing panties before we married but nothing else, and she was tolerant of it. The week after we married I convinced her to take Adderall with me in a hotel room as we travelled, in a manipulative move designed to convince her to look at the Craigslist gay ads with me. She got very high and we both dressed in sexy panties and thigh highs and posted and responded to ads and had lots of interest from men who wanted to make me a cuckold by fucking both of us. One of these men had a picture of his penis, allegedly a foot long black giant as I'd never seen.
I was so excited, and my wife now understood that this wasn't a game we were playing, but I intended to bring him to our room. I had made her do all the typing and she got mad and gave the man our hotel name and phone number.
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He called and she ran into the bathroom with the cell phone and locked the door. I could hear her arranging to meet him in the lobby. Reality hit me and when she came out of the bathroom I begged her not to go. I still had the desire to see her pounded by this large black cock, but I couldn't handle it, and the drugs made me hysterical and her fuming mad. The phone rang again and it was him saying he'd arrived and was in the parking lot. We were on the twentieth or so floor and peeked through the curtains and there was a black man walking to the lobby.
We did not go to meet him, yet this was not the end. I had to restrain her from leaving the room, she was going to teach me a lesson. She could not get past me to the door so instead she called my father and told him I wanted both of us to havensex with another man! Now, two wives, didn't know each other, telling the same story to my parents! My dad is very homophobic and while we have never spoken of the call since, and he hung up shortly after hearing this information from my wife, but it is very awkward when gay topics are on TV or pop up.
My wife and I explored Adderall more in the next two years, and I used it as an opportunity to express my gayness to her, and she gave a good try at being in the dominant role using a strap on and dildos to top me from time to time. She got so good, not just at intercourse but also humiliating me calling me names, using feet to slap my testicles, or spread my butt cheeks, that sincerely felt satisfied with no extra desire to find men. Unfortunately it all became too much for her to handle and she stopped all of that sort of sex completely with me, and for the past few years we have normal heterosexual sex only, which I enjoy but not nearly as much as when there was also some of the submissive play from time to time.
I wish she could continue to do it because I am tempted to find a man. I write this to you in hopes that it helps shed some personal touch to the research from an obviously conflicted man whose sexuality is all over the map and who is thankful for his life, but completely desperate to fulfill a second sexual identity lurking inside, a prisoner to what society labels infidelity and perversion,.
After college I lived with several medical students.
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We discussed a variety of topics. On one occasion I recall a conversation around the list of items clinically removed from the anus that is published in JAMA Journal of the American Medical Association on an annual basis. As I pursued my line of questions, the students spoke of the number of nerves in the anus and its obvious attraction as a pleasure center. I have enjoyed anal stimulation since I was examined for hemorrhoids as a teen an found it pleasurable. Whatever your partner needs or wants to explore sexually should not be judged, but instead be supported.
Meat Glue: What It Is, and What You Should Know About It | Delishably
Sexual pleasure is a basic human need and should be explored to its fullest extent. Not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm very confused. An x of mine was 2 weeks out of a 7 yr jail term 20 yrs all up on and off when we started dating we had and right up to the end fantastic sex both agreeing best ever. We are mid 40's. I'm very adventurous like all types of porn etc. When he got out he got his first smart phone ever.